Thoughts on Control

One of the things that really attracted me to Stoicism is that it directs one’s focus onto those aspects of our life that matter in the greater scheme of things and that are ours to control. Today I was challenged to think about what is really mine to control. Fortunately, much of this is in common with my understanding of zen practice.

For years I have tried to spend a little time at the end of the day thinking about how well I lived that day. Did I hit my marks? I also tried to remember at the outset of each day to set my goals for the day ahead and to try to do it better than the day before. Some days I’ve felt that I achieved the latter goal, and some days not. Some days I felt that I hadn’t made my best effort, and some days it wasn’t going to happen because some days you get the bear and some days the bear gets you. I can do what I do as well or better than I expected to do it, but the outcomes of that effort…
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We have a saying in customer service that quality is in the eyes of the customer. I can perform my role perfectly, but if that doesn’t meet the customer’s needs or expectations I will not be what is considered by others to be successful. How should I consider it myself? What is it to me? That goes to the core of Stoic philosophy as I understand it. If my goal, my happiness if you will, is to do well that which I can do well then what does it mean that another feels that my efforts were unworthy? According to the Stoics, it has no meaning at all. This puts me in mind of one of my favorite quotes from the Sutta Nipata:

Develop the mind of equilibrium. You will always be getting praise and blame, but do not let either affect the poise of the mind: follow the calmness, the absence of pride.

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