Note to Myself

Today I opened Daily Zen to see this:

In the autumn of my sixty-sixth year,
I’ve already lived a long time.
The intense moonlight
Is bright upon my face.
There’s no need to discuss
The principles of koan study;
Just listen carefully to the wind
Outside the pines and cedars.

 - Ryonen Genso (1646-1711)

This started me thinking again about how I might best use whatever time is left to me. I am 106 days from the end of my sixty-sixth year, and am reminded that for several generations the men in my father’s line haven’t lived to see the end of their seventieth.

My mortality isn’t something I obsess or even worry over, but I am conscious of it. I try to set a goal every morning, and to take a few minutes to reflect on the day at its end, but I really don’t have the discipline to do that consistently yet. My goal would be to use the bulk of each day productively. For now it’s enough for me that, when I become conscious that I’m vegetating, I do something.

Today will be for apartment cleaning. Then we’ll see what’s next.

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